Some time ago, I stumbled upon a delightful little poem called 'The Bitter Snits' by Renee LaTulippe over on Renee's http://www.nowaterriver.com poetry blog. Reading this fun poem about these "niggling, wriggling" things called 'Bitter Snits' made me instantly want to tell the Bitter Snit's side of the story... and here it is, presented side by side with the original poem (reproduced here with Renee's permission). I suggest you read the original first, before reading my 'fan fiction' version :)
There you have it folks - poetry from two perspectives. Don't forget - you saw it here first! :)
The Bitter Snits
by Renee M. LaTulippe
When you hunker in a sulk,
and you slouch and you skulk
like a heaving, huffing hulk
of mad
That’s when the Bitter Snits
slither in and steal your wits–
oh, my dear, I will admit it’s
bad.
A Bitter Snit’s a wormy thing,
a niggling, wriggling, squirmy thing
that plants a nagging germy thing
deep inside your brain.
And then you start the sniveling,
your surly head goes swiveling,
your common sense starts shriveling –
oh, it’s inhumane.
If you blubber, if you bawl,
beat your hands against the wall,
Bitter Snits will come to call,
it’s plain.
So when your temper’s on the fritz
and you sink down in the pits
of your snicky-icky fits
of mope
Just remember that a smile
for a Snit is something vile
and if you do it for a while…
there’s hope.
'The Bitter Snits' Copyright © 2012 Renee M. LaTulippe
Reproduced with author's permission
Dem Bitter Snits
by Vikram Madan
WE are dem SNITS! Dem BITTER SNITS!
Dem no good restless little twits!
WE howl! WE prowl! WE stalk! WE sit!
And spread our spite where WE see fit!
WE'RE always cruising for some huff!
And specks of pout and crumbs of gruff!
An upset mind dat's feeling rough
Is where WE always plant our stuff!
WE snick and snack on common sense!
WE love to make your mind feel dense!
Once you've been breached dere's no defense
WE always quickly call our friends!
As long as dere are sulks and tears
Dere's little dat WE dread or fear!
De only ding WE cannot bear
Are signs and smells of (shudder!) cheer!
So DO NOT smile! It gives us fits!
NO SMILES! Smiles make us LOSE our wits!
You smiled? OH, NO! You've made us fritz!
For smiles destroy our SNITTER BITS ... !!!
*….Aaargh….**$&@*($*@#**....
'Dem Bitter Snits' Text & Illustration Copyright © 2012 Vikram Madan
There you have it folks - poetry from two perspectives. Don't forget - you saw it here first! :)
