Classic Poems: 'The Embarrassing Episode of Little Miss Muffet' by Guy Wetmore Carryl

Yes, the blog has been quiet for a while. (I've been busy promoting my book and getting it in the hands of more readers and reviewers, so that took my attention off the blog for a bit). 

Meanwhile, here's a classic poem by a poet who should really be better known than he is, Guy Wetmore Carryl (1873-1904). This fun poem is excerpted from his 1900 book titled 'Mother Goose For Grown-ups' 

The Embarrassing Episode of Little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet discovered a tuffet, 

(Which never occurred to the rest of us) 

And, as 'twas a June day, and just about noonday, 

She wanted to eat - like the rest of us: 

Her diet was whey, and I hasten to say 

It is wholesome and people grow fat on it. 

The spot being lonely, the lady not only 

Discovered the tuffet, but sat on it. 

A rivulet gabbled beside her and babbled, 

As rivulets always are thought to do, 

And dragon flies sported around and cavorted, 

As poets say dragon flies ought to do; 

When, glancing aside for a moment, she spied 

A horrible sight that brought fear to her, 

A hideous spider was sitting beside her, 

And most unavoidably near to her! 

Albeit unsightly, this creature politely 

Said: " Madam, I earnestly vow to you, 

I'm penitent that I did not bring my hat. I 

Should otherwise certainly bow to you." 

Though anxious to please, he was so ill at ease 

That he lost all his sense of propriety, 

And grew so inept that he clumsily stepped 

In her plate - which is barred in Society. 

This curious error completed her terror; 

She shuddered, and growing much paler, not 

Only left tuffet, but dealt him a buffet 

Which doubled him up in a sailor knot. 

It should be explained that at this he was pained: 

He cried: "I have vexed you, no doubt of it! 

Your fists's like a truncheon." "You're still in my luncheon," 

Was all that she answered. "Get out of it!" 

 

And the Moral is this: Be it madam or miss 

To whom you have something to say, 

You are only absurd when you get in the curd 

But you're rude when you get in the whey.

- Guy Wetmore Carryl, 1900