~ 1000 Poems ~: 989. Charge of the Night Brigade

Here's another parody poem (or as J. Patrick Lewis calls them, a 'parrot-y') gestated by the parrot-y party going on at David L. Harrison's blog. This one is based on Lord Alfred Tennyson's famous poem The Charge of the Light Brigade. I was first introduced to the original when I was in middle-school, and portions of it have stuck with me ever since. Since the original is now in public domain, I have reproduced it side-by-side with the parody for your reading pleasure.

[Warning: I rate this poem as PG for excessive violence and macabre themes][though to be fair to myself, the original is no less violent :) ]

The Charge of the Night Brigade
Parody By Vikram Madan

I.
Half a leg, half a leg,
Half a leg onward,
All in the alley of Death
Shuffled six hundred.
Zombies, the night pervade
“Brains!” were the words unsaid.
Into the alley of Death
Shuffled six hundred.

II.
Zombies, the night pervade
Was there a man dismayed?
Wherefrom they came anew
No one had wondered.
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to eat an eye.
Into the alley of Death
Shuffled six hundred.

III.
Human to right of them,
Human to left of them,
Human in front of them
Panicked and blundered;
Stormed at with shoe and shell,
Coldly they flowed and fell,
Carrying their jaws of Death,
Carrying their mouths of hell
Shuffled six hundred.

IV.
Flashed all their ulnas bare,
Moaned as they clawed the air,
Chasing the humans there,
Mindlessly swarming, while
The whole world sundered.
Pounding on pine and oak
Right through the doors they broke;
Redneck and Yuppie
Reeled from each horrid-stroke
Splattered, fell under.
Then they flowed back, but not,
Not the six hundred.

V.
Human to right of them,
Human to left of them,
Human behind them,
Infected and plundered;
Tainted with zombie spell,
Rose now, who once had fell,
They that had fed so well
Carried their jaws of Death
Carried infectious hell,
Now there were more of them,
More than six hundred.

VI.
When can their hunger fade?
When ends their dark parade?
None left to wonder.
Fear now the charge they made!
Fear that undead brigade,
Hundreds and hundreds
And hundreds and hundreds
And hundreds and hundreds
And hundreds…

         The Charge of the Light Brigade
By Lord Alfred Tennyson 1809–1892

I.
Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
   Rode the six hundred.
“Forward, the Light Brigade!
Charge for the guns!” he said.
Into the valley of Death
   Rode the six hundred.

II.
“Forward, the Light Brigade!”
Was there a man dismayed?
Not though the soldier knew
   Someone had blundered.
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and die.
Into the valley of Death
   Rode the six hundred.

III.
Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
   Volleyed and thundered;
Stormed at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of hell
   Rode the six hundred.

IV.
Flashed all their sabres bare,
Flashed as they turned in air
Sab’ring the gunners there,
Charging an army, while
   All the world wondered.
Plunged in the battery-smoke
Right thro’ the line they broke;
Cossack and Russian
Reeled from the sabre stroke
   Shattered and sundered.
Then they rode back, but not
   Not the six hundred.

V.
Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
   Volleyed and thundered;
Stormed at with shot and shell,
While horse and hero fell.
They that had fought so well
Came through the jaws of Death,
Back from the mouth of hell,
All that was left of them,
   Left of six hundred.

VI.
When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
   All the world wondered.
Honour the charge they made!
Honour the Light Brigade,
   Noble six hundred!

Illustrations and Parody Copyright (c) 2012 Vikram Madan